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If We Were Having Coffee: Bringing the Heat Indoors

If We Were Having Coffee Image Four

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you most of my week has been pretty unproductive. Spent most of it continuing to read Ready Player One and lounging around the house. Mostly because my neck and head pain hadn’t gone away and I didn’t want to do anything else while dealing with it. But I also worked on editing another poem to post on my blog and watching YouTube videos.

Watching videos on YouTube is actually one of my many favorite hobbies. I usually do it whenever I don’t feel like watching television. Most of the videos I watch on YouTube are video game videos. I watch fellow gamers play video games to find out what type of games people are into lately. But also because I don’t have the current game systems out now. So I watch YouTubers to see games I might possibly be interested in playing myself one day whenever I’m able to afford getting a PlayStation 4. I also do it too because I sometimes just like watching other people play games because it can be mildly entertaining seeing another person play something and enjoying it. It also makes me feel like I’m even more a part of the gamer community because I watch YouTubers who play games currently available. But also watching them play games I might enjoy is fun too.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you about my fun day I spent with a friend on Thursday. We went driving around to different towns and parks here in South Carolina, then got out of the car and walked, looking at the beautiful world around us. I was tired whenever we first started our trip because he’d asked me if I could wake up a little earlier than usual so we could get started earlier in the day in order to have plenty of time together. But it was lots of fun, just driving around, seeing different places around us. We even briefly drove through some of the mountains here, which was such a beautiful sight to see. My ears were popping during that part of the trip, but it was worth it seeing all of that beautiful landscape.

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This is a picture taken at one of the parks we went to. It had a nice waterfall too and there were lots of ducks and geese there, swimming, squawking, just having a good time. This park is located in Greenville.

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This is the mountain view we saw on our way to our next destination.

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The house up on the hill is the home of an author who lives in North Carolina named Carl Sandburg. Going to this place took us a little bit of a drive, but my friend wanted to show me this place. I’m not a big fan of history but seeing this author’s home in the distance really excited me. It was a beautiful uphill walk that took my breath away with each step.

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 Our last stop was seeing Carl Sandburg’s house at a historic park. It was in North Carolina though so we had an hour and a half to two-hour drive to get there, but it was so worth the time it took for us to get there. I really enjoyed going there not only because the view of the house was breathtaking but because once we got up the hill, there’s a goat house where you can go and pet goats. I would say this part of the trip was one of my favorites because we did quite a bit of walking and it was just such a beautiful place to visit. After leaving this place, we headed home, quickly grabbing a bite to eat before heading back. Overall, the trip was such a great time that I can’t wait to see what type of adventure we go on next.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you Friday was quite a draining day. I was woken up early because Mom discovered a problem with our air conditioner and was having someone come to find out what needed to be fixed. So since I was still tired from my fun filled Thursday, I went back to sleep on our couch until around the time I normally wake up, waiting for the guy to get here. Once he did, he immediately went to our attic to find out what was wrong with our air conditioning. And what he had to tell us wasn’t good news. Apparently our coils for the air conditioning that connect to our drain were very rusty and there was mold on them. So our whole air conditioning system has to be replaced because of the mold. We also think this is possibly why I haven’t been feeling so great the past two weeks. Apparently, the mold was so bad that if anyone in the house was allergic to it, it would affect them. And while my allergies mostly pertain to pollen, I think it’s also possible I could have an allergic reaction to mold, which is why my head and neck have been hurting.

But because we need to get our air conditioning replaced, we’ve had to turn it off completely until they are able to come and fix it. Unfortunately, they won’t be at our house to work on it until Monday, which means this weekend we’ve been having to deal without it. Meaning, we now have a lot of box fans set up around the house and all of our ceiling fans on because we need cool air in our house. We live in the south where our summers are usually hot in temperature and right now our house is around 90 degrees in temperature. Unfortunately, I really have a low tolerance for heat and summer isn’t one of my favorite seasons of the year. I love doing things like swimming and laying out to get a tan during the summer. But otherwise, I want to stay away from the heat as much as I possibly can. And since we have this heat in our house now, I want even less to do with it now than ever before. But so far, I feel like we are dealing with it well, trying to stay as positive as we can. Monday just can’t seem to get here fast enough though.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I also finished reading Ready Player One and wrote the review for it on Friday. I overall enjoyed it, but gave it three stars because there were so many issues I had with it that made it difficult for me to enjoy it even more. Now I’m on to read Ernest Cline’s second novel Armada, which is so far pretty good. I’m hoping I enjoy it as much as Ready Player One or even more so, but we’ll just have to wait and see.

And that’s been my week overall pretty much. Nothing else I can think of writing, at least right now. I hope you’ve enjoyed the coffee and can’t wait to hear about how your week has been going.

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Book Review: Ready Player One

Ready Player One Cover

Rating: 3 stars

In the year 2044, reality is an ugly place. The only time teenage Wade Watts really feels alive is when he’s jacked into the virtual utopia known as the OASIS. Wade’s devoted his life to studying the puzzles hidden within this world’s digital confines, puzzles that are based on their creator’s obsession with the pop culture of decades past and that promise massive power and fortune to whoever can unlock them. When Wade stumbles upon the first clue, he finds himself beset by players willing to kill to take this ultimate prize. The race is on, and if Wade’s going to survive, he’ll have to win—and confront the real world he’s always been so desperate to escape.

This book was quite an enjoyable read. The plot revolves around Wade Watts, a teenage boy who doesn’t particularly live in the best part of town. He spends his whole life inside the OASIS, a virtual reality world where anything is possible because the world around him is so crappy that he’d rather live somewhere else. Then one day, the creator of the OASIS dies and leaves behind a video. In it, he challenges everyone in the OASIS to complete a series of puzzles because the first person to do so will receive his fortune. This competition goes on for a period of time because nobody is able to figure out the first clue. Then one day, Wade figures it out and his name appears on the scoreboard and everything in his life changes in ways he couldn’t imagine.

I found this book to be quite an amazing read because of how accurately its commentary is in relation to the way we live with technology in the world today. So many people (myself included) use technology so much that it’s integrated to every facet of their lives. We communicate with our peers through text messaging instead of having daily conversation because its fast and easy. We use the internet and television as a form of entertainment not only for ourselves but for future generations instead of just taking a moment each day to spend talking to each other. We don’t want to admit that we rely on technology so much because not everyone notices how integrated it’s become a part of our lives. But reading Ready Player One has really brought that reality of our world to me. Of how much we rely on technology to do things we ourselves could do without it. Of how much we no longer can live without it because we are using it for everything we do. And while we aren’t yet in the future of 2044, we are closer to it now than years past. Virtual reality is no longer a thing of the past. The Oculus Rift and other virtual reality devices currently on the market are perfect examples of how much closer we are to facing the future Wade Watts experiences. While we aren’t there yet, we are much closer to that reality and we already use technology every day as a form of escape from our lives instead of communicating with those we love or doing activities without using technology. We just aren’t at the total scope that people in Wade’s world use it.

I also enjoyed all of the references to the twentieth century and how they were incorporated in the story to solve the puzzles Halliday created in the OASIS. While at times they were a little overwhelming, it was also nice to have a sort of tribute to a different time period. To a time when technology wasn’t such a big part of people’s lives. It also added more to Wade’s character because when he wasn’t doing something in the OASIS, he was watching shows or playing video games from that time.

Ready Player One was also an enjoyable read because I loved hearing about the virtual reality world Wade immersed himself in. It was interesting to see what all a person could do in that reality to escape from the world outside. I thought it was cool that a person could do anything in that reality world from hosting a chat room to going to school. It made the virtual reality world seem more realistic and I felt like it also showed me possibilities of what virtual reality is capable of doing.

There were some aspects of Ready Player One, however, I didn’t particularly like. For one, I felt like there wasn’t a whole lot of character development for all of the characters and I felt no emotional impact in the story. I felt like none of the characters in the story had any sort of personality. We saw the story from Wade’s perspective, but the whole time reading, I felt like I didn’t really know Wade very well as a person. I knew he was pretty much obsessed with James Halliday and felt like most of his interests were due to his obsession with getting the first clue and winning Halliday’s fortune. In fact, I felt like all of the characters in the story were obsessed with winning this challenge and it would’ve been nice to have been introduced to someone in the OASIS who wasn’t obsessed with it. But I also felt like the characters we were introduced to were flat in personality. To the point where even when things went wrong, it didn’t feel like there was any sort of emotional response to what was happening. A perfectly good example without giving any of the plot away is when Wade gets threatened by the antagonist. He literally doesn’t bat an eye and when the antagonist makes his threat a reality, I imagine Wade saying in a sarcastically dry voice “oh no,” but he doesn’t get completely upset by the whole thing. He literally shrugs his shoulders and moves away. I felt this lack of emotion from Wade and all of the other characters throughout and it really bothered me. It didn’t help that all of the characters felt flat to me either.

Another aspect of the story that bothered me was how the love interest was incorporated in the story. I felt like the author for some of the story made her a distraction for Wade to complete the quest. To the point where in a couple of chapters the author has Wade and her spend a lot of time together instead of trying to find the next clue. And that bothered me because I felt like there was another way her character could’ve been used, such as having her and Wade team up together to find clues so that the antagonist wouldn’t win. Instead, I felt like the author was using her as eye candy for Wade until the plot picked back up.

There were also things in the story I didn’t find realistic. For example, I was surprised at everything the author made Wade capable of doing. Most of the things the author made Wade do in the real world just didn’t seem possible to me. Not because I didn’t believe he could do those things. But because Wade spent so much of his time in virtual reality that when he was in the real world, he was always miserable and trying to do everything possible to get back to the OASIS. And this bothered me because I felt like some of his feats were impossible for him to do without another person’s help. But he managed to do those things anyway all by himself. It just felt like these particular feats were a complete miracle on his part and it made me hard to believe some of the story.

While I did overall like Ready Player One and the story it had to offer, there were just some things about the story that really bothered me. These things made the book interesting, but also question what I was reading. However, I overall enjoyed reading this book despite these issues and can’t wait to read another one of his works in the very near future.

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Victory (Poem)

Victory Pose

As I watched my heart get destroyed,

I’m still here standing.

 

Victory is mine.

 

Because while you’ve broken my heart,

You can’t take away my pride.

 

I used to feel so sad,

Of the way I felt about you,

But not anymore.

 

Not anymore.

No way, no how.

 

Because I’m not letting you,

Keep me broken anymore.

 

I’m going to stand up,

And cry no more.

 

What tears I have left,

Hold no power over me.

 

Because I’ve learned to let go,

I’ve given up on you.

 

I’ve given up,

On what we used to be.

 

We used to have so much,

But all of that is gone,

Because my heart doesn’t want to be broken anymore.

 

So watch my back now,

That’s the last thing you’ll see of me.

 

I’m done with this game,

And these lies.

 

So ready to love someone,

Who’ll treat me better than you.

 

Victory is mine,

Because I won’t let you keep me broken anymore.

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If We Were Having Coffee: Surviving Sickness

If We Were Having Coffee Image Three

If we were having coffee, I’d once again apologize for my continued lack of recent blog posts. This time though, it really isn’t something within my control. For the past week (since last Thursday, not this one) I’ve been feeling quite under the weather. I’ve been dealing with a lot of neck and head pain that hasn’t completely gone away. I don’t know where this pain stems from and what caused it to occur, but it’s really starting to get old real fast. It’s gotten better since it first started. But it’s still there, hanging on, not wanting to completely disappear. I’ll start feeling better, almost as if it’s going to completely vanish. But then I’ll wake up the next day, my neck sore as ever, my head throbbing as if I got run over by a bus. But then as the day goes on, the pain gets less and less until it’s a dull pain. I’ll be excited, thinking I finally beat this thing only to discover when I’m in bed that the pain is back, stronger than ever. So then when I wake up for the day, I’ll come downstairs and lay on our couch in the hopes of shaking it off. It helps make the pain more bearable for me but once I go to bed—the pain returns.

But the problem is I don’t know what’s causing this pain. My family and I each have conclusions of our own based on what I’ve been experiencing. I really think it could be my bed causing all of these problems since my head and neck pain seems to get worse every time I wake up in the morning. However, I’m not an expert by any means when it comes to head and neck pain. So I won’t know for sure until I go to the doctor to find out what’s going on with me. Hopefully, that’ll happen soon so that I can find out what’s going on and make sure I’m treating this correctly.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that even though I haven’t been feeling well, I’ve been trying the best I can to make the most of it. I’ve been spending most of my time chilling at home. I haven’t really gotten too many job applications or anything done because of how I’ve been feeling. Though I did get an email from one of the companies I applied for a position with. They had some additional questions for me about my experience that they needed me to answer before later on talking about setting up a phone interview. The position is with the company I work for now, but is more of a job in my field and I’d get paid more. I’d also have to move because the position isn’t in the state I live in now. But until I have the phone interview, I can’t get my hopes up yet that I’ll get the position. I also finished reading Console Wars: Sega, Nintendo, and the Battle That Defined a Generation. It was a very satisfying read that reminded me so much of my childhood where I spent a lot of time playing video games on my Sega, Nintendo, SNES, and PlayStation 2, all of which are systems I still have with me. And then started reading Ready Player One, which so far is a pretty enjoyable read too. Even though there are some things with the story I’m still unsure of yet. Just going to wait until I finish reading the book though before I make a judgment call.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you last Saturday, I went on a Cystic Fibrosis walk with my best friend. Even though I wasn’t feeling so hot, I already committed to going on this walk and it was for a good cause. For those unfamiliar with Cystic Fibrosis, it is a genetic born disease that limits a person’s ability to breathe over time. It also causes a thick buildup of mucus in the lungs, pancreas and other organs, which can cause infections, extensive lung damage, respiratory failure, and prevent the release of digestive enzymes, which allows the body to break down food and absorb vital nutrients, according to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation is an organization whose mission is to cure cystic fibrosis and to provide people with the disease the opportunity to lead full, productive lives. My best friend has been dealing with this disease her whole life. So even though I wasn’t feeling so great after the walk, I did this for her and to help others who have to deal with this horrible disease. And it was a lot of fun because not only did I get to see my best friend, but I also got to walk, which is a form of exercise I really enjoy. And that’s what really matters, being surrounded by people whose company you enjoy and doing something you love.

If we were having coffee, I’d also inform you I have some really good news. My sister has finally gotten a job in her field!  I have one older sister who graduated from college a year before I did with a degree in Bioengineering. She’s been looking for a job in her field for two years now, but has been working for one of our school districts as an assistant secretary for one of the coaches. So I know she’s very happy about it, even though it means she’ll be moving away from Mom and I into another state six hours away.  We celebrated by going out to our favorite Mexican place for dinner once she accepted the position. But next weekend, we shall hopefully be moving her into her new place. She’s been communicating with a friend of her friends about being roommates and it’s been stressing her out because the friend won’t be ready to move from her current place until a month after my sister needs to be there and my sister doesn’t want to spend a month at her friend’s place. So she’s been dealing with a lot of stress from that, but I’m hoping everything will work out okay for her.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that’s really all I have been up to besides lounging at home. I know today will be our last Zumba class with our Sunday instructor. She’s got such a busy schedule and I only go to the gym on Sundays because guests are allowed to go to the gym on the weekends for free. But I probably won’t be going because my neck is still sore and I don’t want to do anything to hurt myself. Also a friend of Mom’s is having a cookout at her place tonight so I’ll be going to that. It’s raining here though so we’ll definitely be cooking everything indoors instead. So I guess it’s time for me to go. I hope you’ve been having a good week and I’ll talk to you later, dear friend.

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Book Review: Console Wars: Sega, Nintendo, and the Battle That Defined a Generation

Console Wars Book

Rating: 4 stars

Following the success of The Accidental Billionaires and Moneyball comes Console Wars–a mesmerizing, behind-the-scenes business thriller that chronicles how Sega, a small, scrappy gaming company led by an unlikely visionary and a team of rebels, took on the juggernaut Nintendo and revolutionized the video game industry.

In 1990, Nintendo had a virtual monopoly on the video game industry. Sega, on the other hand, was just a faltering arcade company with big aspirations and even bigger personalities. But that would all change with the arrival of Tom Kalinske, a man who knew nothing about videogames and everything about fighting uphill battles. His unconventional tactics, combined with the blood, sweat and bold ideas of his renegade employees, transformed Sega and eventually led to a ruthless David-and-Goliath showdown with rival Nintendo.

The battle was vicious, relentless, and highly profitable, eventually sparking a global corporate war that would be fought on several fronts: from living rooms and schoolyards to boardrooms and Congress. It was a once-in-a-lifetime, no-holds-barred conflict that pitted brother against brother, kid against adult, Sonic against Mario, and the US against Japan.

Based on over two hundred interviews with former Sega and Nintendo employees, Console Wars is the underdog tale of how Kalinske miraculously turned an industry punchline into a market leader. It’s the story of how a humble family man, with an extraordinary imagination and a gift for turning problems into competitive advantages, inspired a team of underdogs to slay a giant and, as a result, birth a $60 billion dollar industry.

Reading this book was a nostalgic experience. Growing up, one of the first video games I ever played was Sonic the Hedgehog. I remember it as if it happened just yesterday and ever since, I loved video games. So reading this book was quite an experience for me.

But I didn’t enjoy it just for nostalgic reasons either. Console Wars took me into the world of Sega and Nintendo, introduced me to the people who made both companies a success, and made me even more enthralled with the video game universe. I enjoyed it because this book was very real to me. I felt as if I experienced both company’s success right in front of me as everything was happening. From seeing Kalinske resurrect Sega from the ground up to Nintendo taking the video game industry back by storm with the release of Donkey Kong Country on the SNES. I felt as if I was in the video game world, meeting all of the key players who made the video game industry thrive.

I also enjoyed Console Wars because there was a lot of thought put into writing it. Harris put a lot of research into this work, interviewing people from Nintendo and Sega who were a part of the video game industry during that time. Having this information made reading this book that much more enjoyable, allowing the reader a better understanding of how the video game industry came to be so popular in the world today. It also allowed me a glimpse into their lives, seeing everything in the video game industry in a completely different light.

The one downside to this book was the pacing. When I first started reading it, I really dived into the story, marveling at all of the little details and feeling nostalgic. But as I continued reading, I sometimes found myself slowing down, not wanting to continue. Not because I didn’t find what I was reading to be interesting, but because I found the pacing to be extremely slow at times. I found myself to be really interested in what I was reading, but found some of the conversations had between rival key players to be unrealistic. Or I’d find myself overwhelmed with the information presented to me to where I’d need to take a break from reading. Then, there were also times where transitioning from one company to the next was completely awkward. There were a lot of instances where the story went from conversations going on at Sega to all of a sudden being with the guys at Nintendo without any sort of warning. At the beginning of chapters, I understood it and was completely fine with it. But when it happened from one paragraph to the next, it was a little weird sometimes.

Console Wars was a very enjoyable read that reminded me of my childhood. Of the many days I spent playing video games, having fun and just being a kid.

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If We Were Having Coffee: Life Moving Forward

If We Were Having Coffee Image Two

If we were having coffee, I’d let you know my cousin’s graduation last Saturday went really well. It was really nice, seeing family and getting to spend time with everyone. Even if my three days in Georgia went by faster than I expected. Nonetheless, it was still nice because I found out what my family in Pennsylvania and Boston have been up to. My aunt informed me that my cousin has a job after graduation. So not only did my cousin graduate, but he now has a job in Georgia too, which is really exciting. Means we have a family member closer to us now so if we ever want to visit, we can. Regardless though, I’m really proud of my cousin for graduating college and am happy that he’s able to start working after college immediately. Wish I had been so lucky.

If we were having coffee, I’d also tell you that while I haven’t done as much writing lately as I’d like, I’ve still managed to put up some blog posts. Whenever I was at home the week of my cousin’s graduation, I was able to put up the second post I’d submitted to Book Riot after some careful editing. I also published those two poems on my blog this Monday after some careful debating in my head on whether I wanted to publish them or not. Both of the poems were written straight from the heart so I wasn’t sure if I wanted to publish them on here for everyone to see. But after debating with my head last weekend, I made the decision to publish them. And after seeing how well they’ve been received on my blog, I don’t regret it.

If we were having coffee, I’d say I’m glad you all are enjoying my writing. While I know I haven’t been doing too many blog posts lately, from the ones I’ve done this week, I see they are being well received. That really makes me happy because I love writing and sharing my work with others. So it makes me pleased that my readers are enjoying the work I’ve created. I know I’m in a writing slump right now so I’m going to try the best I can to publish more posts on my blog. That’s why I’m hoping to do more flash fiction challenges whenever I get the chance and would love to post more of my own creative work. But I just have to wait and see what the writing gods have in store for me.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you this week has been a pretty slow one for me. Most of it I spent at home, hanging out with my friend or watching YouTube videos. I didn’t really do too much else this week. I meant to do some job applications, but that didn’t work out the way I’d hoped. So I’m going to try and regroup and do some this week. My goal is to have done at least three to four job applications a day. Whether I actually do that we will see. But I definitely hope to get a job in my field very soon. The summer isn’t over yet so we will see.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you my progress on Console Wars has started to go a little slow. Not because I’m losing interest in reading it or anything, just finding myself wanting to do other things instead. So while I haven’t been reading it as much, I’m planning on finishing it very soon. I also acquired two more books this week on Wednesday. The books I’ve acquired are Shadow Mountain: A Memoir of Wolves, a Woman, and the Wild by Renee Askins and In the Woods by Tana French. These books I also plan on reading soon after I finish the book I’m reading now and the books I bought at Barnes & Noble I mentioned on my last coffee post.

Two New Books One

If we were having coffee, I’d also say I’ve started to get back into coloring again. The last coloring page I started on I’ve stopped working on for the time being and will come back to it later because I need to sharpen my color pencils. So I’m using the crayons Mom gave me for my birthday to work on a different coloring page. But besides coloring, I’ve been really getting into watching the YouTubers I enjoy and started playing a game on Facebook I used to really enjoy called Criminal Case, an app where you play as a crime scene investigator and search for evidence to catch the killer. It’s a really enjoyable game to play and I enjoy every minute I spend playing it.

If we were having coffee, I’d also tell you I’ve been wanting to get my hair cut lately. Part of that is because my family wanted me to get it cut before my cousin’s graduation. They feel like my hair is getting really long and needs to be trimmed down. But I think that if I’m going to get my hair cut in any way, I might as well go all the way and get a completely different style. So after much debate, I’ve decided that I’m going to get it cut really short. I’ve actually decided to get a pixie cut because I like the way it looks and think it’d look really nice on me. But I won’t know for sure until my hair gets cut. So for now until I make an appointment to get my hair done, I’ll stick with my long hair. But here’s what it looks like for those wondering.

Pixie Haircut Style

And I think that’s about it. I hope all of you are doing well and had a wonderful week.

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Flash Fiction Challenge: Through a Silent River Poem

Silent Moment Image

For the next flash fiction challenge I’ve decided to complete, I’m doing Chuck Wendig’s Inspiration of the Random Image. In this challenge, you choose a random image from here that inspires you and write about it. My piece for this one I’ve decided to call “Through a Silent River,” and it’s a poem I’ve decided to write about the image I’ve attached to this post.

Through a silent river,

There is one man traveling alone.

 

He has no idea where he is going,

Or no idea where he has been.

He just knows he needs to get to his next destination.

 

It is night time,

The stars are out, burning bright.

 

As he travels along the silent river,

Two birds flock to his bamboo raft.

 

He stares at them,

Then out at the river, marveling in all its beauty.

 

He lights a lantern once he notices the dark,

In the hopes of bringing to light this marvelous beauty around him.

 

But the more he stares out into the night,

The more transfixed he becomes at the sight surrounding him.

 

At the silent river he’s currently traveling,

At the trees whose depths he’s yet to explore,

And at the steep mountains whose hills he’s yet to climb.

 

All three are beautiful things he appreciates

As a curious traveler of the world.

 

And as the night gets darker,

He takes in the beautiful sights around him one last time.

 

At the silent river he’s currently traveling,

At the trees whose depths he’s yet to explore,

And at the steep mountains whose hills he’s yet to climb.

 

Crouches down and goes to sleep,

Basking in the beauty and the wonders he’s yet to explore,

And rests his travel weary eyes until the morning sun wakes him for his next journey.

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Two Lovely Poems

Writing Pen

So I wrote both of these poems in the middle of the night. The first one I wrote a month or so ago, the second one almost a week ago. Both of them are personal, about being in love for the first time and how hard loosing that love can be. About trying to let go and hopefully find someone who can make you feel loved the way you deserve. Both of these poems have been edited by me because I knew more words needed to be written down than what I’d had. But both of these poems go out to all of the women and men in the world who’ve had their hearts broken and are yet still committed to giving love a second chance.

Cheating

Another’s hands on my hips,

Their lips sending tingles down my spine.

 

Hands caressing my entire body,

Full of feeling.

 

Touch exchanged,

Past words left unspoken.

 

All past loves completely forgotten.

 

Living today like it’s your last tomorrow.

 

Forgetting the past,

Burying the present,

And living the future.

 

Broken love left behind,

Yet not completely forgotten.

 

Feeling like your cheating,

The sense of guilt overwhelming.

 

You want to cry,

But feel completely dead inside.

 

Feel as if you made a big mistake,

But know you can’t go back.

 

It’s too late.

So much has already changed.

 

But then realized,

This was all meant to be.

 

So you hold comfort in the solace of another’s embrace,

And let go of all you couldn’t change.

 

Guarded

I’m not the same with him

As I was around you.

 

Part of that is a broken heart,

Abused due to you.

 

It’s hard to trust other men

When all they’ve done is cheated and lied.

 

Made promises unkept,

Broken without batting a lash.

 

I don’t regret the way I feel.

What I regret was ever loving you.

 

For all the things you’d said.

For all the things you’d do.

 

I thought you’d felt the same,

But all you had was empty words.

 

Made promises you’d never planned to keep,

Made me feel as if I was everything to you.

 

And then you left,

No real explanation given.

 

Just packed up to go,

Leaving me behind, broken and confused.

 

Now many months have passed,

And I’ve learned my lesson.

 

I’ve let go, become guarded,

All thanks to you.

 

But I don’t know how I feel,

About the person I’ll become.

 

Being guarded around others,

Isn’t necessarily what I’d call fun.

 

It leads people down a dark path,

Down a road they sometimes can’t return from.

 

Believing they are safe from harm,

When in truth it does more harm than good.

 

It closes the door for many opportunities,

Making it hard to ever open again.

 

Trust is rare company,

Something never fully gained or earned.

 

Because of you I’ve become so guarded towards men.

I don’t know who around me I can trust.

 

I made a new friend a couple months ago.

 

He’s nice and honest and everything I thought you were

Until I saw your true reflection a couple months ago.

 

But I’m still as guarded as I was when you broke my heart

And still don’t know how to let it all go.

4

Becoming a Part of the Club

Note: This post was also submitted for my application to be a contributor to Book Riot. Since I haven’t gotten chosen for that opportunity, I’ve decided to put it here on my blog so my dear readers can enjoy what I’ve written. I edited this post a little because I decided I wanted to rewrite some of what I’d written in the hopes of improving this post.   

I have a hard time socializing with people. I prefer spending time alone: reading books, playing video games, writing, or coloring.

But despite how much I enjoy my alone time, I occasionally want to socialize. To be around like-minded people who share the same interests as me.

Which is why I want to become more involved in the book community. I want to be in a book club. I want to meet new people and talk about books. I want to be a part of discussions that broaden my mind as well as my reading selection.

And I don’t mind socializing. I don’t mind talking to people, having open ended conversations. I just have a hard time doing it, especially face to face. I’m much better at conversations through text and online because I feel like I can really express myself the way I want and have my voice be heard.

The problem is I don’t know a whole lot of people in a book club. I don’t have a lot of friends who enjoy reading as much as I do that I feel like I can openly have a discussion with about the books I read.

My older sister is in a book club with some of her friends. And while my sister and I are pretty close, I don’t want to be involved in her book club. I would feel weird asking to be a part of their group. Not because I have issues with her friends who are involved, but because I want to make friends of my own.

I want to become involved in the book community on my own. I want to make friends who share the same passion and interest in reading as I do. So while at times asking my sister if I can be a part of her friend’s book club is enticing, I need to do things myself.

And one thing I want to do myself is find a book club to be involved in. So if anyone knows of any interesting book clubs I might be interested in, send them my way. I’ll definitely check them out and see if it’s a good fit for me.

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