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Writing My Truth

I know it’s been a solid while since I’ve written here on my blog. The hiatus I unexpectedly took wasn’t at all planned, just was something that happened. I don’t know why—well, I have a couple theories at least as to why I just vanished off the blogosphere for most of 2020. I know this year has been rough for almost everyone with what all’s been going on, from COVID 19 ravaging the world to here in the US having our elections and all the craziness that’s going on with Trump not accepting his loss. 

For me, it’s been a whole lot rougher than I expected. I think the biggest reason being that it’s my first year without having my best friend to talk to. And to tell the truth, I’ve been struggling with dealing with that loss. I think it impacted me a lot more than I expected to where I just couldn’t write for a while. Losing her literally put me at a loss of words, the grief was that powerful for me.

I also think what doesn’t help is that I struggle with depression and anxiety. I get into a deep sadness where all I want to do is sleep and not wake up and cry with no provocation. I’ve been struggling with it for a while, I want to say since we left my Mom’s abusive marriage. I’ve just never put it into words or admitted it because I didn’t realize it was something I had for the longest time. It wasn’t until I was in college and I’d have moments where I’d cry in my sleep that I realized something was up. But even then, I didn’t realize it was depression because it was like I just couldn’t accept it that something was the matter with me. It wasn’t really until this year that I accepted I had depression and that I needed to tell my doctor and family about it. And even now, I’m still dealing with it in different ways. I’m taking medication prescribed by my doctor for it, which I know only does so much.

I know there’s still more I need to do about it, but I am working on it. One step at a time, one day at a time because that’s what I can do. Focus on what’s going on in front of me and keep moving forward. But I am okay, doing a lot better than I have been. This blog post is proof of that because I hadn’t been writing as much lately until these past couple days. Been playing video games and focusing on work more than anything.

Been moving forward in life too, because I moved into an apartment with the love of my life at the end of July. It’s small and cozy, but perfect as a temporary home for us until we’re able to save up for a bigger place. I also received a raise in October from my job. Not by much mind you (2% increase is what I was told, which is the highest they give to employees apparently), but still better than nothing. Work has also been busy in general too, leaving me most days feeling physically exhausted by the time I make it home. But I don’t mind because my job has never been slow or uneventful for me. Just tires me out more than I’m used to, especially having to wake up to be ready and at my desk by 7am. I’ve been working for this company since May last year and I’m still not used to when I get up to begin my day.

But yes, I’m doing a hell of a lot better now. I haven’t been reading and writing as much lately, which I’m hoping to change now because I’m ready to be out of this rut I’ve been in. However, I’ve also been enjoying the video games I’ve been playing on my PlayStation 4 as well. In this time of solitary isolation with my love, I find them to be a good way to relax and destress from a busy day. Maybe I’ll write about some of them here so I can tell you why I’ve been enjoying them so much, why they’ve been such a wonderful distraction for me in my life when I’ve needed it.

I want you all to know though, that I’m extremely thankful for each one of you who’s still here even though I’ve been gone for so long. I’ve been meaning to come back way sooner, but I really feel like life got so crazy and draining for me this year that I needed to be away and didn’t even know it. So I apologize for being gone for so long and I’ll try my best for it not to become a habit.

I also want you all to know I’m okay. Seriously, I’m doing good. I wouldn’t say that with such conviction if I truly didn’t mean it. Do I have bad days where I don’t want to do anything at all, but lay in bed? Yes, that’s part of the sadness I have to deal with. However, I’m not going to let it control me or rule my life. I’ll deal with the moments when they come, but I’ll conquer them each and every time. Because I believe in myself, know that everything is going to be okay and that I’ll get through it. I also know what I need to do for myself to get through them because I’ve dealt with them enough already to know how to handle it.

I just wanted to let you all know that. Just wanted to write my truth on here about what’s been going on with me and let you all know I’m fine. And I’m going to try from here on out not let this be a habit. I’ll make sure that if there’s a next time I take a long time away from blogging to let it be known here so that if any of you were worrying about me, you’ll know I’m okay.

I hope you all are doing well during this time. I know 2020 has been a really rough year, so I want to know if you are okay. And if you aren’t, that’s also fine too. Just know I’m here and that if you ever need to reach out to someone, I’ll gladly listen to whatever you have to say.  

3

2020: The Year of Me

2020 Happy New Year Pinterest
Image from Pinterest.

2019 has been a rough year for me. I lost one of the most important people in my life, someone I never imagined I’d have to face life without. My best friend who while I know is no longer in pain, I still miss as if she passed away just yesterday. Dealing with the grief I feel over her loss has been one of the hardest things I’ve gone through, especially knowing as I experience 2020, she won’t be here this year. While I’m currently doing fine right now, I won’t say her loss hasn’t changed me in some way like losing someone you care about tends to do.

Erin and I At the Beach
One of my favorite pictures of my best friend and I at the beach for her birthday.

It’s made this year difficult. As I experience certain moments in life, I’m constantly reminded that I can no longer talk to her about what’s going on and it sucks. It reminds me of how short life is for all of us and how much I wish she were here experiencing life with me.

2019 hasn’t been all bad though. I’ve had some good moments during this past year too, like starting my new job at China Jushi USA in May and being one of the bridesmaids during my sister’s wedding in November. I’ve also made some new friends through a video game I’ve recently been playing on my PlayStation 4 I bought for myself in 2019, Final Fantasy XIV that I talk to on almost a daily basis along with reconnecting with some old friends too who’ve also had the same loss I’ve been experiencing.

Laney and I At Her Wedding 2019
My sister and I at her wedding reception.

So, while 2019 has been a rough year, I’ve also seen some good come out of this past year for me too. Yes, 2019 wasn’t the year I was hoping it would be, but I know it helped shape me into the woman I am today. So, for that, I’m grateful, even though it means beginning a new year without one of the most important people in my life.

What I want 2020 to be for me is a year of taking care of myself. I spend so much of my time and energy worrying about other people that I don’t stop and think about what I want out of life. So, I hope for 2020 to spend some time doing things for myself that make me happy, like continuing writing here on my blog and continuing pursuing other passions I love.

I also want 2020 to be a year of learning and growth for me. With that in mind, since I work for a Chinese company, I want to learn Chinese. I’ve already started the process a little by downloading Duolingo on my phone and using it a little each day. However, I also plan on looking into other avenues for learning Chinese so if anyone here has gone through the process of learning another language and knows a good tool I can use, don’t hesitate to let me know in the comments section of this post.

So, for 2020, I hope to continue growing into the woman I’m meant to be while pursuing passions I love and putting my genuine self out into the world.

But enough about me. What all do you hope to get out of 2020 and how has it been treating you so far? Leave a comment below because I’d love nothing more than to hear from you.

6

Personal Blog Post: Apologies Are in Order

Sorry for My Absence Blog Post

Hello everyone! How’re you all doing today? I know it’s been quite a while since you’ve heard from me. For that, I extend my sincerest apologies for my long silence. I can tell you from the bottom of my heart I didn’t intentionally stop writing on my blog. There wasn’t anything going on here in the blogging community that made me not want to write anymore. I just—needed to be away for a little while.

As you all know, I mentioned back in February that I lost my best friend to a disease that has yet to have a cure. While I’d love nothing more to say I’ve gotten over that loss and have fully moved on with my life, that would be a lie. The grief I feel over her death comes and goes with some days being easier than others. She was someone who was really a big part of my life so having to live without her hasn’t been easy. But I’m managing the best I can, one day at a time. One of the things I’ve started working on to help deal with my grief is writing personal letters to my best friend, talking about the different things going on in my life. I’ve found that it helps even though there are a lot of times I don’t really know what to say.

However, that isn’t the only reason I’ve been absent from my blog. This year in general has just been very busy as well. I have an older sister who just recently got married so I’ve been helping prepare for that.

And to be honest, I just haven’t been writing or reading quite as much lately. I guess you could say for the past couple months I’ve been in a reading and writing slump that I’m slowly working on getting myself out of. I have a lot of books to read, just need to pick one up and start reading again. But it’s been difficult to get out of because I just haven’t been feeling like reading lately and I don’t know why. So, I’m going to try and figure out what’s causing this slump for me and what I can do to remedy the situation so I can read the books piling up in my room that remain unread.

With that being said, I’m hoping this blog post can be the start of me getting back to being involved with my blog again. I can’t tell you how much I enjoy writing on my blog and have missed being a part of this community. Hopefully writing this post will motivate me to get back into blogging again like I was doing before I took this unexpected absence.

Again, I apologize from the bottom of my heart for being absent for so long. I can’t guarantee I’ll immediately be active on my blog again, but I’m definitely working right now on getting out of this slump so I can get back into it. And I truly believe this post will be the start of that for me.

I hope you all are doing well and can’t wait to continue blogging where I left off! Please let me know in the comments below what all you’ve been up to since my unexpected hiatus because I’d love nothing more than to hear from fellow bloggers.

8

Acquiring a New Opportunity

Brave Leap of Faith

I know it’s been quite a while since my latest blog post. I just haven’t had as much free time to read and write blog posts though. But it’s for a very good reason.

I know I haven’t mentioned this on my blog at all because my blog posts have been laser-focused on books. But I just recently acquired a new job, once again. I think the last time I mentioned a job was last October on this personal blog post where I talked about a position one of my dear friends from college recommended me for.

The reason for the job change is because the company I was working for due to my friend is very soon going to be done with the project I was working on. From what I’ve heard, their last day on site will be June 14th, which is next week. As a result, I would’ve likely been unemployed if I’d stayed until the very end of the project. BUT it’s actually because of the company I was working for that this opportunity came to me.

You see, the project I was hired on for with this company is on a construction site. Most of the people I’d worked for were electricians on this construction site that were hired to do work for a fiberglass plant here that’s in the process of opening. Well, someone in the maintenance/utilities department on site was looking for someone to help with some of their forms.

My previous employment was very pleased with my work for them. So, when they heard the maintenance department on site was looking for someone to help with their workload, they told that person about me. This opened the door for me to interview and then be offered this position, which I started officially on Monday, May 20th.

While I’m still sad to have left that job behind, I feel extremely thankful. I had no idea that working for them would give me this opportunity. Would give me the chance to get a more permanent full-time job that gives me even more work experience in an industry I’m still learning more about.  I feel like I’ll never be able to thank them enough for getting me employment after they’re gone from the site.

And so far, the job itself has been going well for me. Yes, I’m still learning all my responsibilities and it can sometimes feel overwhelming because there’s a lot I’m going to be doing. Like I’ll be handling our department’s payroll because I mentioned in my interview that I have payroll experience. I’ll also be responsible for keeping track of the equipment that’s on site as well as different forms of paperwork that our department will need to get approved to get the equipment we’ll need. A lot of my responsibilities are essentially administrative tasks and data entry work. But I’m still learning what all I’m going to be handling right now in this position so if the details sound vague to you at all that’s probably why.

I can tell you for sure that I’ll be a lot busier than I was before. Since I’ve started, I’ve yet to have an unproductive/slow day where I’m not handling some aspect of my new job, which I don’t mind at all because I love being busy and feeling challenged at work.

So that’s why I haven’t been blogging quite as much lately. I’ve been so busy with this new job (even working on Saturdays, which gives me overtime pay) that I just haven’t had the energy or time to focus on much of anything at all.

But I’m not going anywhere, I can promise you that. I’m still planning on blogging, continuing reading books I love, playing video games I enjoy, etc. I just wanted to explain to you all why I haven’t been quite as present on my blog lately and wanted to share the good news. Because I’m extremely thankful for this new opportunity and can’t wait to see where it takes me.

 

5

Book Review: Shout

Shout Book Cover

Rating: 4 stars

A searing poetic memoir and call to action from the bestselling and award-winning author of Speak, Laurie Halse Anderson!

Bestselling author Laurie Halse Anderson is known for the unflinching way she writes about, and advocates for, survivors of sexual assault. Now, inspired by her fans and enraged by how little in our culture has changed since her groundbreaking novel Speak was first published twenty years ago, she has written a poetry memoir that is as vulnerable as it is rallying, as timely as it is timeless. In free verse, Anderson shares reflections, rants, and calls to action woven between deeply personal stories from her life that she’s never written about before. Searing and soul-searching, this important memoir is a denouncement of our society’s failures and a love letter to all the people with the courage to say #metoo and #timesup, whether aloud, online, or only in their own hearts. Shout speaks truth to power in a loud, clear voice– and once you hear it, it is impossible to ignore.

This book was so beautifully written that I enjoyed every minute I spent reading it. The overall writing style in this book reminds me so much of Ellen Hopkins’s young adult, contemporary, poetry prose. Like her works, Shout does a wonderful job of telling Laurie Halse Anderson’s story in poetic format. The difference being though that her story is a memoir, based on her own life experiences that she had during her adolescence.

For me, that made this book that much more beautiful. I found her story from teenager to young adult relatable as she talks about her experience with sexual assault and how that helped shape her into the adult she is now. Her poetry style flowed very well and was easy for me as a reader to follow along. As a result, I found myself wanting to continue reading her story to see how she handled her life experiences.

Another element of this memoir I enjoy is the honesty with which Anderson talks about sexual assault. Not only with regards to how it affected her own life but also how she’s seen her writing about it impact the lives of others. I don’t recall if I’ve mentioned this in any of my blog posts before or not, but her book Speak is one of my favorite books. The first time I read it, I knew it was an important book that I’d always have on my bookshelf and it’s a story I’ve read countless times. With Shout, I find myself feeling the same way because the story being told within its pages is just as important.

I appreciate that this book brings up important topics such as sexual assault and censorship when it comes to allowing children to read certain books. Both topics need to be addressed, especially in books. It saddens me to see so little has changed when it comes to these topics and I appreciate Anderson’s words bringing this truth to light and letting us know she wants to continue being a voice of change.

There is very little with this memoir I didn’t enjoy, except maybe certain poems didn’t flow very well. Or that I found when reading certain parts of the overall story didn’t feel quite as strong as others. I overall loved each of the sections in this book, but I sometimes found the writing worked well in one section over the other. Not to say that I didn’t enjoy the content, I just didn’t find that section quite as enjoyable to read as the other. It was interesting and caught my attention but didn’t speak to me quite as much.

Either way, I overall enjoyed reading Shout. To the point where I’m at a loss of words to describe my thoughts on this book. It’s a good book, full of content that gets straight to the point and leaves quite the punch. If you haven’t read it already, I highly recommend it, especially to those who love poetry/prose and memoirs. It’s also good for young adult readers and those who enjoy reading books that deal with difficult topics.

6

Book Review: Five Feet Apart

Five Feet Apart Book Cover

Rating: 4 stars

Can you love someone you can never touch?

Stella Grant likes to be in control—even though her totally out of control lungs have sent her in and out of the hospital most of her life. At this point, what Stella needs to control most is keeping herself away from anyone or anything that might pass along an infection and jeopardize the possibility of a lung transplant. Six feet apart. No exceptions.

The only thing Will Newman wants to be in control of is getting out of this hospital. He couldn’t care less about his treatments or a fancy new clinical drug trial. Soon, he’ll turn eighteen and then he’ll be able to unplug all these machines and actually go see the world, not just its hospitals.

Will’s exactly what Stella needs to stay away from. If he so much as breathes on Stella she could lose her spot on the transplant list. Either one of them could die. The only way to stay alive is to stay apart. But suddenly six feet doesn’t feel like safety. It feels like punishment.

What if they could steal back just a little bit of the space their broken lungs have stolen from them? Would five feet apart really be so dangerous if it stops their hearts from breaking too?

I read this book in memory of my best friend who passed away last month in her battle against cystic fibrosis, which I recently shared here on my blog. It’s based off a screenplay by Mikki Daughtry and Tobias Iaconis and chronicles the story of Stella and Will, two teenagers struggling in their battle against cystic fibrosis but for different reasons. While Stella is doing everything she can to keep her health in order so that she can get a lung transplant, Will is tired of going from hospital to hospital and is doing the best he can to live his life to the fullest. They fall in love with each other, but they must stay six feet apart in order not to jeopardize each other’s health, which feels like punishment to them both.

What I loved about reading Five Feet Apart is that this story brings awareness to cystic fibrosis, a disease that affects so many people in the world and currently doesn’t have a cure. I especially love that the story brings up information about cystic fibrosis people who don’t have the disease might not know, such as that people with cystic fibrosis can’t get too close to each other because of the risk of catching bacterial infections. While I had a very good friend who had cystic fibrosis, there are still some things I myself don’t know about the disease and I felt like this book brought that information to my attention. For that reason alone, I appreciate this book because it brought about awareness for a terrible disease that deeply impacted the life of someone I truly cared for.

I also enjoyed reading this book because I love the characters and the shifting points of view between the two protagonists, Stella, and Will. What made the characters in this book so sympathetic and real to me was seeing how they each handled their current predicament. For Stella, she focused on being well for the sake of her two parents whose marriage crumbled due to a devastating loss that shook the foundation of their family. Will, on the other hand, was more focused on getting out of the hospital and being able to live his life to the fullest since he was dying anyway. He was tired of spending all of his days in the hospital and couldn’t wait to turn eighteen so he could be done with hospital stays for good. I felt myself cheering these two young teens on as they struggled with being together while keeping their own safety in mind.

What I especially loved about reading Five Feet Apart is that it had an emotional impact on me. I know part of that is due to what happened with my friend, and reading a story with characters dealing with the same disease brought those emotions to the forefront. But I also know it’s due too because the story itself moved me. It felt like it was the right book for me to read at the right time.

But at the same time, there are some issues I had with the story itself too that I do need to bring up. For starters, I wasn’t fond of the instant-love that happened between Stella and Will. It’s a common troupe you see in young adult literature that I feel gets overused too much and I was sad to see it in this book too. While I understand why the connection starts, I felt like it was a little unrealistic in this story because of what these characters are dealing with.

I also wonder slightly about the accuracy of cystic fibrosis in this book. While I personally knew someone with the disease so I already knew some of the information that was brought up in the story, there were some details I was unsure of. I don’t have cystic fibrosis so I know I can’t speak for those who do, but if there’s inaccuracy in this book, it would be nice to know for sure. Unfortunately, the person who I’d speak to about this is no longer here to talk to about this book with.

This brings up another separate issue itself that doesn’t necessarily have to do with the book but that I feel I need to talk about anyway. I honestly wish I’d read this book sooner before my friend passed away. Or that we both could read it so we could talk about it with each other. I know she probably would’ve loved to do that (especially since there’s a movie coming out later this month, and she’s the one who mentioned wanting to see it) and I would be able to pick her mind about the way those with cystic fibrosis are represented in the story. So for me reading this story was pretty bittersweet because it reminded me of my friend’s desire to go and see the movie, which I also plan on doing too.

Overall, I love this book as a whole and give it four stars despite several issues I had with it. I find that I can’t give this book a lower rating because awareness of cystic fibrosis is important to me and I appreciate that this book attempts to bring this illness to people’s attention. It might not be done correctly, but I appreciate the effort and the story had a strong emotional impact on me that I can’t simply ignore. This book will forever hold a special place in my heart because it reminds me of a dear friend. I also can’t wait to see the movie no matter how sad not getting to see it with her will make me.

I highly recommend this story to those interested in learning more about cystic fibrosis and anyone interested in health as a collective whole. I also recommend this book to those who enjoy a good young adult romance like I sometimes do and want to read a story with sympathetic characters.

I’ve included the trailer in this post below for those interested in going to see the movie like I am so you can have an even better idea of the story I just finished reading.

 

6

Grieving the Loss of a Dear Friend

Erin and I Great Strides Walk May 2017

My heart feels so shattered right now. This week has been one of the hardest weeks of my life. My best friend, who I’ve known since my freshman year of high school, passed away on Wednesday, February 13th. She was fighting for her life against cystic fibrosis, a genetic disease that affects a person’s lungs and their ability to breathe, the pancreas and other parts of their body.

While I knew this day would eventually come (people with cystic fibrosis don’t have a long life span, most nowadays live until their 30’s and there’s still no cure), it still doesn’t make it any less hard for me to deal with the grief I’ve been experiencing since her passing. She was a good friend, someone I truly trusted with all my heart and soul, who cared a lot about everyone she encountered. She was strong too, always putting on a brave face even when she was in pain fighting against this terrible disease. In our friendship, I always felt like I could truly be myself around her and could talk to her about anything and everything.

She was the best friend I could ever ask for. It feels like just yesterday we were talking and creating memories together. I remember moments from high school, like some of the classes we had together and when we’d eat lunch on the senior balcony during senior year. Also, recent moments too from during and after I was done in college, like when we went to the zoo together with her oldest son, went to the beach with another friend because she loved the ocean, and whenever I went with her when she decided she wanted tattoos. There are so many other moments that stand out to me in our friendship, but these are some of the best ones. Now, she’s no longer here and I feel like a piece of me went with her when she passed away.

Erin and I At the Zoo June 2014

I know the next few weeks will be extremely difficult for everyone she cares about. She’s left behind so many good people who care so much about her along with a wonderful husband and her two young children who’ll now live without a mother. But I feel extremely lucky and grateful to have met her and know that our friendship will always hold a special place in my heart. I know one day, I’ll get to meet her again very soon, and that lessens the pain of her loss. Until then best friend, I want you to know I love you so much and can’t wait to see you again.

If you’re reading this post, if you can, please donate to the Go Fund Me page me and a couple of her friends have set up to help her husband and kids during this difficult time or donate to your local cystic fibrosis organization in honor of my best friend’s memory.

My heart is hurting, but I’m glad my dear friend isn’t suffering anymore.

10

Turning the Page on Life To 26

birthday cupcake image

Hello everyone! I hope you’re all having a wonderful week so far. So, January 14th is my birthday and this year, I turned 26.

When I was younger, I used to make such a big deal about my birthday. I’d get all excited every time it came around to the point where I’d tell other people it was my birthday just so someone would wish me a wonderful day.

Well this year has been a little different for me. For once, I was more relaxed about it being my birthday and not making as much of a big deal about it. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve come to the realization that it’s not something I need to make such a fuss over. That if someone wants to wish me well, they will and if they don’t then on well.

Either way, this year I felt calm about it being my birthday and just took the moment to enjoy the day no matter what happened. I was at work all day and it was busy because of payroll being due for me to turn in so it came and went quickly.

While I’m another year older, I don’t feel that much different than any of the days before. I feel like just the same person that I’ve always been and that not too much has really changed. But at the same time, I feel happy with where I’m at in my life and that there have been some changes that I’m proud of.

For starters, I’ve acquired a new job that’ll put me in the right direction in life. Not to say working in food service isn’t a noble thing, it just isn’t where I picture myself working for the rest of my life. At first, I wasn’t sure what to think of this job because I originally wasn’t doing well at it my first couple weeks. But now, I feel like I’ve gained my ground and am starting to adjust to my job responsibilities and handling whatever tasks get thrown at me. If anything, I find I’m busier now than when I started out due to us hiring more employees and being given more responsibilities by my boss. I see this as a positive thing because I believe they wouldn’t give me more work if they weren’t happy with the way I’ve been handling things. While I don’t know where this work experience will get me in life, I’m extremely thankful for this opportunity and to get the experience.

I’m also thankful/happy because I have a poem published in an anthology. I know I’ve already talked about this quite a bit, so I probably won’t say too much else about it, but I’m still excited that a poem I’ve written is physically in a book that people can buy and read. One of my dreams is to one day be an author who writes her own stories and gets published. And I feel like with the anthology, I’ve accomplished my dream of being an author even if it’s just having one poem I’ve written getting published. While I hope that’s not the only piece of writing of mine that’ll be read, I still want to continue pursuing that dream and having more of my voice going out into the world. I know my blog here on WordPress also helps me accomplish some of my writing goals so I’m extremely thankful for that too.

All of this I accomplished when I was 25. So, I can’t wait to see what 26 has in store for me. Hopefully it’s as wonderful as being 25. I’m hopeful that it could be another great age but will wait and see what life has in store for me.

 

10

Back to Blogging (Hopefully)

Back to Blogging Fall Image

Hello everyone! I hope you all have been doing well and I’m sorry I haven’t written anything on here in so long. I know it’s been a month since I’ve last written a blog post. It’s just that life for me has been super busy because of my new job. I’m still getting accustomed to the new hours I’ve been working, plus I’ve already traveled twice during my three weeks in this position. The first time I traveled to Ohio for my training, and then a week later I was asked to attend time keeping training in Pennsylvania for the new time system we’ll be using for our time sheets.

On top of all of that, I then thought I was sick with a cold. But it turns out it’s my seasonal allergies that randomly make an appearance just when the last medication I take expires. My seasonal allergies first started for me whenever I was in college living on campus 30 minutes away from home. I don’t know what exactly changed, just discovered that my throat gets itchy and all whenever the seasons change. But it’s never consistent so I never know if it’s actually my allergies or if I’m sick. So I’ve been dealing with an itchy throat, stuffy nose and headaches on top of adjusting to my new position and getting accustomed to earlier hours.

As a result, I just haven’t had the energy or the time to write on my blog like I’ve been wanting to. And I feel pretty bad about it because I’ve already canceled a post I was really committed to writing for one of my blogging friends. I was really excited about writing this post, about this opportunity, but these past couple weeks have just gotten away from me and I wasn’t able to complete the post like I wanted to. I know she understands and all, but it doesn’t stop me from feeling bad that I didn’t complete the post like I wanted. I know they’ll definitely be more opportunities to guest post in the future, but I don’t like letting those chances slip away from me.

While I’m glad that I have this new job opportunity and to see where it takes me, I’m sad that I haven’t been as active on my blog recently. But with adjusting to new hours comes me having to change the time I write on my blog. I don’t know yet how often blog posts will be, but I’ll try my best to stay as active on here as I used to be. I think it essentially depends on how I feel once I leave work, whether I’m up to the task of writing on my blog or not.

For now though, I’ll take it one day at a time just like with my new job. I find that overall this job has been okay so far. I’m still fairly new so I’m still learning how things work around there and what’s expected of me. I know there’s a lot I could improve on with myself in this position, but since I’m still learning, I need to cut myself a little more slack. I don’t know yet how I feel about the job overall, mostly because it’s office work and that’s not something I necessarily enjoy doing. But with this job, I’m definitely gaining more experience and feel like I’m heading in the right direction with what I want to do. I just need to stop over thinking every little thing I do and I believe I’ll be fine once I get really into my new position. I’m extremely thankful for this opportunity and while this job is only supposed to be a temporary position, I’m hopeful that it could turn into something more for me when I can prove myself a valuable asset to the company.

I hope moving forward to continue writing more posts on my blog. But for now, I’m trying my best to enjoy this new opportunity and adjust to my new hours. I’ll write blog posts whenever I feel inspired and have the chance, but it might not be as frequent as I used to. So until my next post, I hope all of you are doing well and would appreciate hearing back from you in the comments about what you’ve been up to. Take care and happy writing!

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